I left the US 6 months ago simply hoping to live beautiful times; to make unforgettable memories; to be inspired and to inspire somehow. The 6mo came and went and today, I have precious memories. I ended the trip in the motherland, my home, El Salvador. Every time I find myself there, I continue to learn and be amazed by this country and its people. I continue to learn more about the human spirit and its capacity for resiliency. I continue to be amazed by Salvadorans’ creativity and their willingness to give their everything every day to live another day. I continue to learn about its amazing history—for example, las 670 ruinas de Chalchuapa (the 670 ruins of Chalchuapa); our different birds and fruits and the way the clouds look when it’s going to rain opposed to when there will be lightning or thunder. I also learned how to differentiate between mango trees opposed to jocotes, platanos, etc. I miss the daily mango, and the jocotes; that carpenter bird that sounded like a screw driver outside my bathroom window every morning at about 9am. I miss the birds and their singing at dawn and at sunset. I miss admiring the pink skies of the sunset from my balcony or the corridor. I miss swimming in the pool at any given time of the day cuz the weather was always opportune for the pool. I miss seeing the mountains through my windowpane the moment I’d wake up. I miss the music at the park, even the “cuetes” (fireworks) that would wake me up at random times throughout the night or would scare me during the day. But most of all, I miss the kindness of the people I met along the way. The congregation and ministry in Santa Ana. And I miss the opportunities that I would have had to continue to meet and get to know people. When I think of El Salvador, when I think of Texis, my heart feels something that words cannot describe yet, but, the feeling of longing is so palpable.
En "La Vegita" w/rows of fruit trees 😋 #dad'sfavoriteplace #mangos
💙The Ocean will always be a happy place for me 💙#salinitas
I also learned to listen more. I learned that listening is perhaps one of safest ways to not let someone down although, truth be told, no one grows up or goes unscathed by life.
My Mommy & my Tia Deyci who came to El Salvador after having moved to Australia 30yrs ago! Beautiful time together 💞 #sansivar
Visiting Metapan #family
More family time at the beach 💙 #tanforreal
I continued to witness the love people have for each other and for El Salvador. The day I left El Salvador I felt a deep determination within me that told me I will return. And I thought of all those people that leave the country on a daily; those who have left as part of the caravans and now find themselves in dire conditions trying to cross the border to make it to the US with hopes of one day returning to their native countries. I am aware of the conditions in our native countries that contribute to forced migration. I have learned and understood the contradictory and paradoxical state of justice and freedom in this country, the U.S. We continue to see the consequences of the 12yr long U.S funded civil war in El Salvador reflected by the insecurity, the violence, the poverty, the low pensions, the minimum wage, the political warfare, etc. And I wonder what reparations have been put in place to bring justice to the Salvadoran population? The answer… none, too many.
Los muchachos de Texis, en El Salvador...las oportunidades no son muchas pero siguen luchando para espacios; para capacitarse y tener una educación para una participación consciente en el pais.
"Those that leave endure, those that stay fight, and we all suffer. But I do know that suffering ends one day, and that is our hope." -said by a wise elderly woman one warm Sunday afternoon.
Here I am often left without words when I look back. Completely speechless always wondering what can I do? Is there anything that I can do immediately to ease the pain and suffering of so many that experience the injustices on a daily basis not only in El Salvador but, worldwide? And I find myself questioning God- why do some suffer more than others? Why do some hurt so bad?
And the answer I find is this (based on my beliefs): God is sovereign and He knows all things, and we are here because of His grace. So the best I can do for now is be God's light and shine that light and spotlight on injustice. And truth is, El Salvador today continues to bleed the consequences of US imperialism now known as neoliberalism-- characterized by a lack of funding towards social programs and over-investment in policing the population, which has contributed to the insecurity issues. So for now, as I adjust to being back and discover new ways to assist Salvadorans here in the US and abroad, I will continue to pray for El Salvador and for all the people that suffer so much worldwide and to help me be a healing agent for these communities. I have faith in the unseen and that has kept me going, positive and at peace for so long and it will continue to see me through. Thank you baby Jesus for your hope.
And so today, after a week, more or less of having arrived to the US, I remind myself of this letter I wrote to myself in 2016 when I found myself undergoing a few transitions in life as well…perhaps it’ll encourage you too wherever you are in life :)
“Change— it’s the most constant thing in this material life.
You’re in a different place in life.
Different setting, different mindset, different reality.
And when fear of the uncertainty creeps up,
Look up baby girl, just look up.
Look at the sky, the sun, the moon, the stars,
Get lost in its vastness; its abundance.
Remember how we are all under one sky, lit by the same moon.
Let the stars remind you of the infinite beauty of God’s light and Grace.
*Grace- practice grace in every action you take, and use it to respond to people and situations…And see beauty transpire.
Remind yourself, tell yourself:
“Trust the Lord! Be brave and strong, and trust the Lord.” Ps. 27:14
And when the distance bleeds, open your heart, open your eyes and remember how far you’ve come.
It’ll be okay.
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